


When I loved you

by fullsunscreen



Category: Huang Renjun - Fandom, Lee Donghyuck - Fandom, NCT
Genre: Angst, College Life, M/M, Memory Loss
Language: Filipino
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2020-06-25
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:07:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24908914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fullsunscreen/pseuds/fullsunscreen
Summary: Huang Renjun and Lee Donghyuck has been friends for a while until they started to develop feelings for each other. Everything is just like what Renjun wants to be— Happiness and Sunshine, nothing could ever go wrong until Donghyuck suddenly got Renjun into a very traumatic phase of his life. What could possibly go wrong? Will they still experience happiness and sunshine?
Relationships: Markhyuck - Relationship, RenMin - Relationship, Renhyuck - Relationship
Kudos: 5





	When I loved you

“Sht!” Bulong ni Renjun sa sarili niya habang nagpapakahirap na isabit ulit yung canister niya sa balikat niya nang makita niya na late na siya para sa klase niya.

Paano ba naman kasi hindi mal-late, magdamag siyang nagpuyat para lang matapos yung plate nila. Nagcram kasi siya, nanood lang siya ng mga K-Drama buong magdamag at tila bang nakalimutan na mayroon pa rin palang bukas.

Nasa ilalim siya ng bubong doon sa may bus stop nang biglang bumuhos ang ulan. “Pag nga naman sinwerte ka oh! Wala pa naman ako payong!”

Tinanggal niya yung jacket niya para ibalot doon sa folder niya na may laman na mga plates at iba pang drawing. Mabasa na daw lahat, huwag lang plates niya.

Ilang minuto lang ay biglang may pumarang sasakyan sa harap ng bus stop. Nung nakatapat na yung sasakyan sa bus stop, biglang binaba nung nakasakay yung salamin, only to find out na si Donghyuck pala iyon.

Renjun has a crush on Donghyuck, pero hindi niya inaamin kasi ‘hindi pwedeng masira ang friendship nila’.  
Nagkita sila dahil sa school, lagi kasi sila magkatabi sa may canteen tsaka nag initiate si Donghyuck na “Parati tayong nagkikita ah? Parang nakatadhana na ata tayo sa isa’t isa.”

Of course alam ni Renjun na maloko si Donghyuck, he was smart enough to know what’s right and what’s wrong, kaya nga he wouldn’t fall for those words, because he fell for the person instead.

“Hoy Junjun! Mukhang kawawa ka diyan ah?” tawang tawa naman na sinabi ni Donghyuck nang makita niya ang kunot na noo ni Renjun.

“Kay aga aga hyuck nambwibwiset ka nanaman!” sinabi ni Renjun sabay irap.

Ngumiti lang si Donghyuck at sinara ang bintana. Nasa passenger seat lang siya kasi meron naman silang driver. Donghyuck came from a ‘rich’ family, but he never once became snob or mayabang, he always insists on keeping low profile instead na ipagyabang lahat ng ginagawa niya. That’s (1) of the many reasons kung bakit gusto siya ni Renjun. 

Nang bumaba si Donghyuck, binuksan niya agad yung payong niya at pumunta kay Renjun, “sabay ka na.”

Nakatingin lang si Renjun sakaniya, nakataas pa yung isang kilay. “Sabay..Papasabayin mo ko e ang bilis bilis magpatakbo ng driver niyo?”

Kinuha ni Donghyuck yung canister ni Renjun at sinabit ito sa balikat, “haha ang funny.. bilisan mo na, nagrereklamo ka kagabi na kailangan mo ‘yan ipasa ng maaga diba?”

Renjun just stared on Donghyuck. He was wearing a simple short sleeved black buttoned polo, a shorts, and a pair of Nike shoes that Renjun got for him. ‘God, you’re so beautiful.’ he muttered to himself.

“What? Renjun? Are you even listening?” 

“Oh, of course. Sorry na, lutang. Konti lang tulog diba?” 

Sinundan ni Renjun si Donghyuck papuntang sasakyan, si Donghyuck yung naghahawak sa payong at pinapasok na si Renjun sa loob ng sasakyan. Renjun insisted on waiting for him pero sabi ni Donghyuck na baka mabasa lang siya at magkasakit. That’s (2) of the many reasons kung bakit siya nagustuhan ni Renjun. Napakabait niya kahit at the same time, anak siya ng demonyo. He just knows how to read the room and Renjun thinks that it’s a personal trait or even a talent that not everyone can acquire.

Nagmadali naman nilagay ni Donghyuck yung basang payong sa trunk ng kotse at pumasok doon sa sasakyan para umalis na sila.

“Okay ba plates mo?” tanong ni Donghyuck.

“oo. Ikaw?”

“Okay lang, as long as hindi naman mabasa yang pinaghirapan mo then it’s all good.”

Pinunasan lang ni Donghyuck yung sarili niya at kinausap yung driver, “Kuya Albert wag niyo na po ako sunduin mamaya. Sabay po kami ni Renjun.”

“Ha? Wala naman akong natatandaan na may sinabing kang may gala.” sabi ni Renjun

“E ngayon alam mo na.”

“By the way, Kuya Albert, meet Renjun. He’s my bestfriend, and Renjun, meet Kuya Albert.”

“What happened to Kuya Marning?”

“He left. But it’s okay, Kuya Albert is here na, so don’t you ever forget about his name..”

“Hay nako naman hyuck.. Ibang klase ka talaga.” sabi ni Renjun

“Ibang klase? Kasi pogi ako?” Sabi ni Donghyuck kay Renjun sabay kindat.

Umirap lang si Renjun pero sa loob niya, gusto niya nang sumabog at magsabi ng masasamang mga...words.

“How’s the Arki life going?” Donghyuck asked.

Renjun is a 2nd year Architecture student. He chose Architecture kasi hindi talaga gusto ng magulang niya to get into an art school or to pursue drawing kasi wala naman iyong “career” kaya he chose Architecture. Atleast it still deals with art and creativity.

“Ito... Alive but barely breathing.. how about you? How’s the Engineering life?” Renjun asked this time.

“Nyeh... okay lang naman. May challenge naman pero nakakayanan. It’s hard but it’s good ya know?” 

On the other hand, Donghyuck’s family business is all about real estates, construction and subdivisions. Usually, future company successors would always pick Business, or Management related courses pero he picked Engineering so that he could also try to experience working in “first person”. Okay lang din naman sa parents niya kahit anong course, they were fully supportive about their son.

“So saan tayo pupunta mamaya? Wala akong pera ngayon.. Nagiipon ako para sa future projects ko sa school” sabi ni Renjun

“Walang anuman. I can handle that. Tsaka nasabi mo na sakin ‘yang ipon about projects”

“Kelan?”

“Last week pa.”

“Ang palatandain mo naman, pero birthday ko nakalimutan mo.”

“Hoy! Joke lang ‘yon noh! Bakit ko naman makakalimutan ang birthday ng bestfriend ko?”

‘Bestfriend, here we go again...’ Renjun thought about it and ayaw niyang isipin yun so he diverted back to the conversation again.

“Sana all walang winoworry noh..” he said

“Luh? Anong wala? Financially yes, i’m thankful and grateful pero in other things? no. I worry about other things too, Renjun.” 

“The only thing you worry about is your dinner.” 

“Hala! Hindi kaya!” sabi ni Donghyuck

Tinignan naman siya ni Renjun at tinaasan ng kilay.

“Okay maybe yes, ng slight...” Donghyuck said and smiled.

Maya maya ay nakarating na sila sa school. “Don’t forget to call me later after your class!” Donghyuck shouted to Renjun and Renjun nodded before they parted ways.

Later after Donghyuck’s class, nakita niyang nasa hallway si Renjun na bising-busy sa kakalaro ng cellphone niya. Kinuha naman ‘to ni Donghyuck na dahilan ng pag sigaw ni Renjun “Gagi! Mananlo na ako!”

“PUBG ka ng PUBG wala ka nang time saken!” sabi ni Donghyuck pagkatapos iback sa home screen yung cellphone niya.

“Wow ikaw nga overwatch ng overwatch eh! At bakit naman kita bibigyan ng time, jowa ba kita?” tanong ni Renjun.

“Oo. Malapit na.” bulong naman ni Donghyuck, pero narinig pa rin ito ni Renjun. Inisip ni Renjun na baka nagkamali lang siya ng sinabi kaya iniwasan niyang mamula.

“Isa pa, pinaghintay mo ko dito sa labas! Akala ko ikaw maghihintay?!” sinabi ni Renjun

Inakbayan naman ni Donghyuck si Renjun at naglakad na sila, “Nag overtime yung prof namin, sorry na.” Kinuha ulit ni Donghyuck yung canister ni Renjun. “Diba may nabibiling Tsquare at Canister in one bag. Bakit hindi ka bumili nun?”

“Meron ba?”

Bago sila pumunta ng mall ay binilhan muna ni Donghyuck si Renjun ng ganoong klaseng lagayan para hindi na mahirapan si Renjun sa pagdala ng mga gamit niya.

“Thank you!”

“Welcome, Architect Huang Renjun.” sinabi ni Donghyuck

“Okay, kilig na ko niyan?.... Engineer Lee Donghyuck..” sinabi naman ni Renjun.

Nung nasa mall na sila, una nila ginawa ay kumain doon sa favorite nilang restaurant— ang Kuya J. Ang sarap ng daing rice nila, favorite yun ni Donghyuck. 

After noon, ay pumunta na sila sa timezone at naggastos na sila ng pera. Una sila pumunta doon sa may karaoke zone at kumanta ng kumanta ng kumanta. Then, naglaro sila basketball at nagtry ng kung ano anong laro. Nagrace din sila doon sa may isang video game at nag claw machine. 

Nanalo si Donghyuck doon. “Hala! Gusto ko din niyan!” sabi ni Renjun. “Akin na lang!” Dagdag pa niya. 

“Hmm.. pinaghirapan kong kuhanin to at sinayang ko pera ko para dito para lang ibigay sayo? Unfair naman non. Dapat trade tayo.”

“E ano ittrade ko?” tanong ni Renjun.

Pinagmasdan ni Donghyuck ang mga gamit na nakasabit kay Renjun nang maiigi nang makita niya ang singsing sa daliri ni Renjun. “Ayan, gusto ko ng singsing mo.”

“Nyek? 20 pesos lang to sa tiangge, doon ka nalang sa mga mamahaling jewelry shop bumili!”

“E gusto ko singsing mo.” 

“Sa iba na nga lang!” sabi ni Renjun

“Ang damot mo naman. 20 pesos lang yan sa tiangge tapos itong plushie na to 100 pesos nagastos ko.” sabi ni Donghyuck

“Ano bang espesyal sa singsing na ‘to?”

“Kasi ikaw may suot.. kaya espesyal.” 

Hindi naman nakaimik si Renjun. “Itong plushie na ‘to, lagi mo ko maaalala, itong singsing na ‘to, lagi naman kita maaalala. Ganoon.” dagdag pa ni Donghyuck.

Napilitan naman si Renjun kahit nakatago ang kilig niya, binigay niya kay Donghyuck yung singsing at binigay naman ni Donghyuck kay Renjun yung plushie. 

After noon, nasa labas na sila doon sa may park katabi ng mall. Habang naglalakad lakad, biglang humangin at nalaglag yung mga drawing ni Renjun.

Agad naman nila pinulot ito, “sabi naman kasi sayo itago mo na ito sa bag mo ang kulit kulit talaga!” 

“okay, sorry na!”

Habang nagpupulot sila ng mga drawing ni Renjun napansin ni Donghyuck na may sketch si Renjun doon na kamukha niya. “Hey, is this me?” Diretsuhang tanong ni Donghyuck. 

Nanlaki naman agad mata ni Renjun at agad itong kinuha kay Donghyuck at iba pa niyang drawings. “U-hm... T-thank you for today. M-mauna na ako..”

Papaalis na sana si Renjun nang biglang hilahin ni Donghyuck ang kamay niya.

“Hey, I’m just asking if it’s me, it must be for a school sketch? Akala ko ba structurals lan ginagawa niyo?”

“It’s not a school assignment. I always draw you whenever I feel stressed, whenever I see your face, I just feel happy and feels like i’m in cloud 9.” 

“Ha?”

“Donghyuck... I... I like you..”

“Pero bakit ako?” tanong ni Donghyuck

Renjun’s tears started falling out, knowing na ang mga katagang ‘pero bakit ako’ ang kadalasan na binabanggit bago ireject ng isang tao ang nagcoconfess sakaniya. 

“Do you think you can explain love? Do you think I know how to explain why I love you? Pero okay lang! I’m over you! Before you reject me, uunahan na kita! I don’t like you anymore! Reject me for all I care!” Sabi ni Renjun sabay tingin sa ibaba

Hinawakan ni Donghyuck yung balikat niya, “Renjun, look at me.”

No response, no action.

“Renjun, look at me!”

Nakatingin pa rin si Renjun sa ibaba kung kaya’t napilitan si Donghyuck na hawakan ang baba ni Renjun para matingala ito sa direksyon ng mukha ni Donghyuck.

“I hope nagbibiro ka lang nung sinabi mong ayaw mo na sakin.”

Renjun blinked, “why?”

“Kasi I like you too. Damn it Renjun, hindi pala. I love you too.”

“Pero bakit ako?”

“Kasi mahal kita.” Sinabi ni Donghyuck at niyakap si Renjun, “and no one, nothing can change that.”

After 2 years of hiding each other’s feelings, they finally confessed to each other. Sila yung magjowa na “Sana all level.” Mapapasana all ka nalang kasi they always have each other’s back, they would usually stay up late at night to motivate each other sa school works, they’re basically the greatest couple in their university. 

Until one day, napagpasiyahan ni Renjun na makitulog kila Hyuck to finish his scale model and to motivate Donghyuck to finish studying for his calculus exams too.

“Why are you here again?” Donghyuck asked.

“To finish my scale model and to also help you study for your calculus exam. Alam ko namang tatamad tamad ka.” Renjun said.

“My what? I have what?”

“Exam. Sa calculus. Babe, Did you forgot about it?”

Donghyuck slapped his hands on his forehead, “Paano ko makakalimutan yun?!”

Ilang minuto lang ay napagpasiyahan ni Donghyuck bumaba para uminom. “Babe, I’m quite thirsty, do you want something?”

“just water.”

“Okay, brb.” sabi ni Donghyuck pero binuksan niya ulit yung pinto, “wait, babe, what again?”

“Water..”

“Oh.. sorry.”

Maya maya ay biglang nakarinig si Renjun nang bagsak sa first floor at ang sigaw ng isa sa yaya nila Donghyuck. Renjun rushed downstairs, only to find Donghyuck laying on the floor while his head is currently bleeding.

Nung nasa ospital na sila, nakaupo si Renjun doon sa may waiting room nang makita yung mga magulang ni Donghyuck palapit sa kaniya.

“Hijo!” Sabi ng mama ni Donghyuck at niyakap si Renjun, “Buti nalang nandoon ka sa bahay when that happened! Is Hyuck fine?” tanong ng mama niya

At sakto namang lumabas yung doktor para kausapin silang tatlo.

“Donghyuck was severely fatigued, samahan pa ng constant headaches niya. That’s probably the reason on why he accidentally slipped himself. Thankfully, we just need to stitch his forehead pero everything’s okay.” Dr. Wang said.

Dr. Wang is Donghyuck’s doctor since birth. Dr. Wang is a general doctor, specializing in everything about neurology. Suki na si Donghyuck dito dahil lagi siya nahihilo, but up until now, hindi pa rin alam kung bakit palagi siyang nagkakaganoon.

“Dr. Wang, have you found out about my son’s illness? Alam niyo na ba ang pinagmumulan ng hilo niya?” Donghyuck’s father asked.

“That.. We also found out about it. Donghyuck’s blood pressure increased within a week after his last visit, nung tinuturukan din siya ng IV, naging purple-ish agad yung wrist niya dahil grinip siya nung isang nurse, his buffalo bump and stretch marks on his thighs are also noticeable.. which means, after all these years.. nalaman na din namin na merong Cushing syndrome si Donghyuck.” Dr. Wang said

“Cushing syndrome? Ano po ‘yun?” Renjun asked.

“Cushing syndrome basically occurs kapag exposed yung katawan ng tao into high levels of cortisol and/or kapag gumagawa ng masyado o madaming cortisol yung katawan ng tao. Cortisol controls the blood sugar levels, regulate metabolism, reduce inflammation and assist with memory formulation.. That explains everything..”

“Everything about what?” Donghyuck’s mother asked.

“Donghyuck have too many cortisols, kaya abnormal ang sugar levels niya, medyo nagiging bloated siya even though you said na hindi na siya ganon palakain, at kaya may mga pasa pasa siya na matagal maalis.. with memory.. I’m sure hindi naman magiging ganoon kalala kaya let’s just monitor him for now.”

“Ang alin ang di magiging ganoon kalala?” Renjun asked.

“Don’t worry about it. Atleast 15-20% of the people who have Cushing syndrome acquire that as a side effect so you can say na medyo rare siya pero we still need to monitor Donghyuck. Make sure he drinks the medicine in time so that hindi tayo umabot ng isang taon for him to be free of the cushing syndrome..”

After that, nautusan si Renjun to keep an eye on Donghyuck and to observe his actions, well hindi naman kailangan siya utusan since sobrang nagaalala din naman siya kay Donghyuck.

Kinabukasan, napilitan na silang papasukin si Donghyuck. He was throwing tantrums kahit sinabing magpahinga muna siya. He said na madami siyang mamimiss na major subjects kaya napilitan sila.

Nasa bench sila ngayon ni Renjun habang nagbabalat si Renjun ng orange para kay Donghyuck.

“Kamusta naman yung exam mo?” tanong ni Renjun habang ngumunguya ng orange.

Napakamot si Donghyuck sa ulo niya, “Okay lang naman.” Tumitingin si Donghyuck ngayon ng mga youtube comments. Mahilig kasi sila magbasa ng mga comments ni Renjun sa youtube, kapag nakikinig sila ng mga ‘senti, emo’ opm lagi silang pumupunta sa comment section para magbasa ng mga kwento about being broken-hearted and all that stuff.

“Name ko sa YT RJ1728279 ha.” Renjun said.

“Ako naman haechannerz” sabi ni Donghyuck.

“Look at this comment, sabi niya iniwan daw siya nang walang paalam oh.” sinabi ni Donghyuck at tinapat yung cellphone niya kay Renjun.

“Luh, buti nalang di ko naexperience ‘yan kasi ikaw first love ko, ayie.” sabi pa ni Renjun at kinindatan si Donghyuck. Umirap naman si Hyuck. 

“I experienced that....”

“Ha?” tanong ni Renjun habang binigay yung orange kay Donghyuck.

Binaba ni Donghyuck yung cellphone niya at nginuya yung isang orange, “Yung ex ko...”

Bigla namang umismid si Renjun.. “oh?”

“Iniwan niya ko... nang walang paalam.....”

Walang nagsasalita sa kanilang dalawa “Akala ko si Mark na pero hindi pala, alam mo kung bakit?”

“Hindi. Bakit?” 

“Kasi ikaw talaga binigay para sa akin. I’m so happy that you’re here with me, Renjun..” sinabi ni Donghyuck

Agad namang ngumiti si Renjun nang biglang sumakit ang sugat ni Donghyuck, “huwag ka masyado malikot!”

“Ang tagal naman, nagdudugo pa rin tong sugat hanggang ngayon!” sinabi ni Donghyuck

“Ganoon talaga kapag may Cushing syndrome, matagal healing process. So take your meds na.” sinabi ni Renjun at pinainom yung isa sa gamot ni Donghyuck

“Okay lang naman exam ko.” biglang sabi ni Hyuck

“Huh? Out of context?” tanong ni Renjun

“tinanong mo diba?”

“Oo pero kanina ko pa yan tinanong at sinagot mo na.” 

“Eh? Kakatanong mo lang?”

“Hay nako Donghyuck, magpahinga ka nga muna.. Nakakalimutan mo na mga bagay bagay.” sabi ni Renjun

“We can rest later, for now.. come with me.” Donghyuck said at hinila si Renjun papunta doon sa sasakyan nila.

“Kuya Marning, doon po sa sinabi ko.” 

“Kuya Albert mo ‘to.”

“Kuya Marning left a while ago. Ikaw pa nga nagsabi na huwag ko kalimutan pangalan ni Kuya Albert.” Renjun said.

“Ah, sorry po.. nalutang lang..”

“Saan ba kasi tayo pupunta?! May klase pa ako!” sabi ni Renjun.

“Minor mo lang naman ‘yun kaya i-ditch mo na yun.”

“Saan nga?!”

Tinakpan ni Donghyuck bibig ni Renjun, “Great things come to those who wait.”

Maya-maya ay nakarating na sila sa destinasyon nila. Sa Amusement Park. Matagal na pinipilit ni Renjun si Hyuck na pumunta ng Amusement Park pero wala silang time. Now, they have all the time they need to spare

Niyakap naman ni Renjun si Donghyuck, “Thank you Baby!”

“Welcome bub, Happy Monthsary.”

‘Bub?’ Nagtakang tanong ni Renjun. Hindi naman kasi ‘yun ang cs nila pero hinayaan nalang niya kasi monthsary naman nila.

Maghapon silang nagpakasawa sa kakasakay sa mga rides and after non, they parted ways sa kaniya-kaniya nilang bahay. Magccommute lang si Donghyuck pero nagtaka si Renjun kung bakit ibang bus ang sinakyan ni Donghyuck. Inisip lang niya na baka may bibisitahin pero sasabihin naman ni Donghyuck yun kung meron, pero umalis nalang siya at chinat si Donghyuck na “ingat ka pauwi babe :))”

Maya-maya ay nakarating na si Donghyuck, nagtaka siya kung bakit nasa apartment siya pero dumiretso parin siya sa loob at umakyat nang 7th floor nagulat siya nang biglang lumabas si Mark. 

“Donghyuck? What are you doing here?” Tanong ni Mark

Ngumisi si Donghyuck, “Ako dapat magtanong niyan, bakit ka nasa bahay ko?”

“Baka sa sobrang hirap ng Engineering nalutang ka na, bahay ko ‘to Donghyuck..”

Nanlaki mata ni Donghyuck nung narealize niyang bahay nga ito ni Mark. Humingi siya ng pasensya at umalis agad.

Kaya pala nasa apartment siya....

Kinabukasan, tinutulungan naman ni Donghyuck si Renjun sa scale model niya nang biglang may lalaking pumunta sa direksyon nila.

“Lee Donghyuck, I didn’t know you were studying here?” Mark asked.

“Mark? Ngayon alam mo na.” Nung narinig ni Renjun ang pangalan na ‘mark’ ay tinitigan niya ng masama si Mark.

“Oh, I’m Mark Lee, from Mechanical Engineering department, Donghyuck’s old friend” sabi ni Mark at nakipagkamay, pumayag naman si Renjun makipagkamay. “I’m Huang Renjun. Architecture, hyuck’s boyfriend.”

“Oh.. Btw Donghyuck buti nakauwi ka nang ligtas kahapon? Naligaw ka pa sa bahay ko.”

Tinaasan naman ng kilay ni Renjun si Donghyuck at napansin ito ni Mark. “Naligaw lang si Donghyuck sa bahay ko, lutang from engineering lol. Pero anyways, i’ll leave you two here, goodbye.”

Nung nakaalis na si Mark tinanong naman ni Renjun kung totoo yung sinabi niya. “I-I was lost okay??”

Maya-maya, may binubulong si Donghyuck ‘Huang Renjun, arki, boyfriend ko.. Huang Renjun, arki, boyfriend ko..”

“Ano yun?” tanong ni Renjun, “wala.” sabi naman ni Hyuck.

A month had passed, and pumunta si Renjun sa bahay ni Donghyuck kasi hindi siya pumasok. He came to greet Hyuck a happy monthsary.

Pumasok siya sa kwarto ni Donghyuck at nakita niya na madaming mga picture and notes about kay Renjun. Bigla naman siyang nakita ni Donghyuck at agad nito sinara ang pinto. “Happy Monthsary babe! I can’t believe ikaw pa nakalimot!”

“Hindi ko kaya nakalimutan!” sabi ni Donghyuck, while reading something sa palad niya.

Tinaasan naman ni Renjun ng kilay si Donghyuck at hinila ang palad niya, “ano ‘to? kodigo?”

Donghyuck sighed. “Look... I’m tired of pretending that I still love you. The truth is, hindi ko na maalala kung sino ka, I can’t remember you anymore.”

Bigla namang tumulo luha ni Renjun, ito na ang pinaka kinakatakutan niya. 

“How long?”

“For a month now. That’s why lagi kong sinusulat name mo, kahit na I can’t reciprocate your feelings, kahit na hindi ko alam kung bakit naging tayo, I don’t want to make you look bad.” sabi ni Donghyuck.

Inadmit naman si Donghyuck sa ospital agad agad, and there, inexplain ni Dr.Wang yung condition ni Donghyuck.

“Ito ang kinakatakutan ko... As I said, rare lang ang nagkaka memory loss because of Cushing syndrome, and unfortunately, Donghyuck acquired that condition. Shrinkage of cells may lead to additional volume loss in response to corticosteroids.. Naaapektuhan yung Hippocampus.. Hippocampus is the part of the brain that deals all about memory stuff.” Dr. Wang explained.

“So, hindi na po niya kami maaalala?” Renjun asked.

“Not entirely, kapag nagamot naman yung Cushing syndrome ay 100% babalik ang memory niya. From the tests, okay pa naman thinking skills niya, I think konting part lang ng hippocampus ang naapektuhan..”

Nakipagusap pa yung magulang ni Donghyuck sa doktor for the medicine at pumasok naman si Renjun sa loob ng kwarto ni Donghyuck.

Donghyuck will stay in the hospital longer than he thought for more tests and therapy.. Nakatitig lang si Donghyuck sa kisame at hinawakan ni Renjun kamay niya, tears slowly falling, he said “Ipapaalala ko sayo lahat, sa kung paano tayo nagkakilala hanggang sa bakit mo ako mahal..”

Agad namang tinanggal ni Donghyuck yung kamay ni Renjun sakaniya, “What makes you sure na maaalala kita?”

“Kasi mahal mo ko. That’s why I’m sure.. Just trust me.”

Renjun decorated Donghyuck’s room with yellow balloons, sunflowers, happy stuffs and naglagay siya ng board sa harap ni Donghyuck. Doon sa board na yon may mga quotes, pictures nila, dates to remember and more memories. Si Renjun ang nagaasikaso kay Donghyuck, siya ang kumukuha ng mga kailangan niya for the next class, at dito na din natutulog si Renjun at naliligo.

After school, pumupunta agad siya sa ospital para may kasama ulit si Donghyuck. He insisted na siya na magaalaga kay Donghyuck para maalala ni Hyuck lahat ng pinagsamahan nila.

“Ito naman nung first time tayong naging magkaibigan, lagi kasi tayong magkatabi sa canteen.” Tinuro naman ni Renjun yung picture sa ibaba, “ito naman yung nag amusement park tayo..” 

Routine na ito ni Renjun, pero hindi pa rin siya maaalala ni Donghyuck.. “Ito namang picture sa gitna, ito yung naging tayo na...”

“Tignan mo to, plushie. Nagtrade tayo non, nasayo singsing ko tapos binigay mo sakin to, sabi mo sign to na hindi tayo magkakalimutan, na maaalala natin isa’t isa.”

Tumingin naman si Donghyuck sa daliri niya, nandoon ang singsing ni Renjun. 

“So, do you remember now?”

Umiling si Donghyuck, “Paano ko maaalala, puro college days na ‘yan, how about my childhood days?”

Maya-maya ay biglang pumasok si Mark. “Tita told me you’re gonna stay here for awhile so I visited.”

“Mark!” sabi ni Donghyuck.

Umismid lang si Renjun, si Mark na ex niya naaalala ni Donghyuck, siya na current boyfriend hindi naaalala.. 

“Ano ‘to?” Mark asked while pointing the decorations. 

“Nilagay niya, para daw maaalala niya kung paano naging kame eh puro college days lang naman yan. How about my childhood days?”

Ngumiti si Mark, “ako! I have a lot of memories back when we were just kids!”

Lagi nang bumibisita si Mark kay Donghyuck. Then after a few weeks, One day, habang nagtatawanan sila.. 8PM na non at kailangan na uminom ni Donghyuck ng gamot “Do you remember berting?” Mark asked.

Tinigil ni Renjun ang pagsusulat sa notebook niya nang biglang mag alarm ang cellphone niya. Lumakad si Renjun papunta sa kama ni Donghyuck, “Babe, inumin mo na tong gamot.”

“Mamaya na..” sabi ni Hyuck at tumawa kasama si Mark. “Pwede mo gawin yan mamaya, inumin mo muna to babe, please.”

Sinigawan siya ni Donghyuck, “Ang kulit naman! Huwag mo nga ako i-babe babe! Hindi ko nga alam kung totoo yang mga sinasabi mo eh! Wala akong naaalala ni isang memorya kasama ka!”

Biglang naiyak si Renjun at binigay kay Mark ang gamot. Maya maya, nakita siya ni Mark sa labas ng ospital. “Sumuko ka na, sinasayang mo lang oras mo.” sabi ni Mark at tinapik siya.

Pero hindi pa rin sumusuko si Renjun. Nandoon pa rin siya para alagaan si Donghyuck hanggang maalis na siya sa ospital, hindi pa siya officially nakikipagbreak kasi he was still hoping na maaalala siya ni Donghyuck.

Pero that doesn’t change the fact na Donghyuck looks happier with Mark than with him.

“Kamusta na pala si Donghyuck?” tanong ni Jaemin na kadormmate niya.

The thought of Hyuck made him cry. He referred to himself that he was a crybaby.

“Ayon.. Di parin ako kilala.” Renjun said.. “You know what’s painful more than death? Yung tipong buhay nga mahal mo sa buhay pero hindi ka kilala. I think mas better if Patay ka pero you still rememebr the memories you shared with each other before you die.”

Nakita ni Jaemin ang sakit sa mata ni Renjun kaya niyakap niya ito nang mahigpit.. 

The warmth Renjun was lacking—

Few months passed and Donghyuck was free of the Cushing syndrome, at the same time, magnnewyear na kaya ininvite ng pamilya ni Donghyuck si Renjun sa resthouse nila to celebrate New Year with them.

Renjun agreed, now that everything’s back to normal, now that nakabalik na memory ni Donghyuck. He thinks it’s time to start a new year with Donghyuck.

10 minutes until January 1, umakyat si Donghyuck at Renjun sa may deck para mas makita yung fireworks. “Congrats, wala ka nang Cushing syndrome and you got your memory back.” sabi ni Renjun

“I couldn’t have done it without you taking care of me.” dagdag ni Donghyuck habang umiinom ng champagne.

“Hyuck.... Nung may memory loss ka, hindi mo ba talaga ko naaalala? Kahit 0.01% lang?” tanong ni Renjun

“Strangely, no. Puro memories ko lang with Mark ang mas nangingibabaw.” 

“Why? E diba ex mo yun? Yun yung nangiwan sayo diba?” Renjun asked. He was hurt by Hyuck’s words but kept it to himself.

“I guess he played a significant part in my life.” Hyuck added.

“So hindi ako significant?”

“Of course you are. You made me happy, you made me feel loved and you took care of me kahit na I kept on shutting you out.. pero Renjun, I think na you’re better off seeing someone else.”

“Ano ibig mong sabihin?” tanong ni Renjun. Inalis naman ni Donghyuck yung singsing sa daliri niya, “You can keep or destroy the plushie or whatever.”

“Wait, bakit mo tinatanggal e diba sign to para maalala natin isa’t isa?” tanong ni Renjun. This time, he couldn’t hold his tears anymore.

3....2....1 “I’m breaking up with you.” sinabi ni Donghyuck na sakto namang nagsiputukan ang mga fireworks. 

“What?” Tanong ni Renjun, hindi niya masyado narinig si Donghyuck kasi maingay. Kaya bumulong si Donghyuck sa kaniya, “I’m sorry Renjun, it was great When I loved you.. But i’m breaking up with you.” 

Hinalikan naman ni Donghyuck si Renjun sa noo, “Happy New Year... Bab— I mean, Renjun.”

Renjun stood there, hoping that it was all a dream. But no, this is reality. Reyalidad kung saan hindi nanaman siya ang pinili. Reyalidad kung saan mas mahal ng mahal niya ang ex niya kaysa sakaniya.

A year had passed and everything was going smoothly. Pumunta siya sa comment section sa youtube kasi may bagong labas yung favorite nilang banda ni Donghyuck na kanta.

He really isn’t the type to comment his life on youtube pero tamang tama yung kanta sakanila. He started typing...

“We met during our freshman days, naging friends kami and all of that stuff, tapos nagconfess kami sa isa’t isa during our 2nd year. Then unfortunately, nung 3rd year kami nagkaron siya ng Cushing syndrome, I cared for him, skipped my meals para mapainom siya gamot, make him remember everything na pinagsamahan namin pero wala eh.. mas naaalala niya yung ex niyang nangiwan sakaniya. I sacrificed a lot para sakaniya, pero he still chose his ex. Hindi niya ko naaalala, and I remembered that it was New Year, tapos saktong sinabi niya na he was breaking up with me. Alam mo yung sakit? Tama na. Wag na natin paalalahanan ang isa’t isa na naging tayo. Ganon yung pinaparating niya eh. I felt really sad, all of that efforts? Wala namang nangyari, mas pinili niya parin yung isa kasi significant memory daw. It still hurts pero all that I can ever wish is nasa alternate universe nalang kami, na doon sa alternate na universe na yun, ako yung pipiliin niya. Lee Donghyuck, I know na nagbabasa ka parin ng mga yt comments. Gawain natin to dati diba? I hope you’re happy, sinabi pa naman natin na sabay nating iccelebrate Graduation natin, sabi mo pa nga magttrabaho tayo ng sabay at perfect fit tayo kasi engineer ka, architect ako. To be honest I’m still longing for you a few months ago pero now, I can say na I will let you go, I always hold you dearly sa memories at sa puso ko pero I guess this is our goodbye? Thank you for everything and goodluck on your journey, Engineer Lee.” 

Nakagraduate na sila ni Donghyuck kaya ganoon na sinabi ni Renjun. Maya-maya naman ay sinara muna ni Renjun ang laptop niya dahil inaaya siya ni Jaemin lumabas.

Matagal na siyang nililigawan ni Jaemin pero he wasn’t ready to commit yet and Jaemin respected his decision, kaya natutuwa siya dahil hindi pa rin siya sinusukuan ni Jaemin.

Paguwi ni Renjun, binuksan niya laptop niya only to find out na sabog na notifications niya. Ang daming nagreply at naglike sa comment niya. Isa na dito na merong nag reply sa kaniya, ‘haechannerz’

‘Hala, si Donghyuck to’ sabi ni Renjun at binasa naman niya ang reply ni Donghyuck.

“I’m sorry for not reciprocating your feelings. Rest assured na I appreciate your efforts and yes, sometimes, I also wish na sa alternate universe, tayong dalawa ang magkasama. I’m sorry for everything, I couldn’t wish anything more than your happiness in life. Please take care always, stay healthy, good luck to, Architect Huang.”

Renjun unknowingly cried, a proper goodbye. Ito na yun. 

Nagbasa siya ng mga comments pa under his comment at sinabi nila na “well, ang sakit naman” At iba’t ibang uri ng comment.

“I agree with you too, Hyuck.. Thank you for everything.” sinabi ni Renjun, maya maya naman ay biglang tumawag si Jaemin.

Nagbuntong hininga siya. He can do whatever he wants to do now, he doesn’t need to wait, he doesn’t need to hope for something that will not come true. 

Renjun accepted everything and forgave Hyuck. After all, Renjun can only love again if he learns how to forgive, and so he did.

On the other hand, Mark and Donghyuck’s relationship grew stronger than ever, though Hyuck felt bad for what happened to Renjun, he couldn’t just leave Mark. After all— he was his greatest love.

After Donghyuck saw Renjun’s comment, he sighed and said “It was fun, our days were fun when I loved you. Thank you for being a part of me, Renjun”

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first time writing dito sa ao3! I hope you like this story! Nilaan ko pawis at luha ko para dito! Thank you for everything! Sobra! Thank you talaga sa pagsupport sa akin kahit bulok mga story ko and for being patient with me, you guys deserve all the happiness in the world!


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